Or did you simply skim through the links looking for the page that confirms what you already believed was true? The key is to trick the mind by giving it an excuse. Convince your own mind or your friend that your prior decision or prior belief was the right one given what you knew , but now that the underlying facts have changed, so should the mind. But instead of giving the mind an out, we often go for a punch to the gut. At that point, the mind will dig in rather than give in.
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Democrats in the United States are already falling into this trap. Colombians adopted a similar strategy in the s when the Rojas dictatorship collapsed.
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As I explain in my forthcoming book , although the Colombian military was complicit in the abuses of the Rojas regime, civilians deftly avoided pointing any fingers at the military. Instead, they managed to march the military back to the barracks with its dignity intact. So they offered an alternative narrative for public consumption that uncoupled the armed forces from the Rojas regime. Were they to take a different approach, a military dictatorship—not democracy—may have resulted.
In my early years in academia, I would tend to get defensive when someone challenged one of my arguments during a presentation. My heart rate would skyrocket, I would tense up, and my answer would reflect the disdain with which I viewed the antagonistic question and the questioner. This is my idea. When your beliefs are entwined with your identity, changing your mind means changing your identity. I changed my vocabulary to reflect this mental shift. This subtle verbal tweak tricked my mind into thinking that my arguments and me were not one and the same.
Obviously, I was the one who came up with these arguments, but once they were out of my body, they took a life of their own. They became separate, abstract objects that I could view with some objectivity.
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Humans operate on different frequencies. The challenge is to figure out what that thing is and adjust your frequency. Instead, show him how renewable energy will provide job security to his grandchildren. We live in a perpetual echo chamber. We friend people like us on Facebook. We follow people like us on Twitter. We read the news outlets that are on the same political frequency as us. Make a point to befriend people who disagree with you.
Expose yourself to environments where your opinions can be challenged, as uncomfortable and awkward as that might be. A person who is unwilling to change his or her mind even with an underlying change in the facts is, by definition, a fundamentalist. Ozan Varol is a rocket scientist turned law professor and bestselling author.
It will make sure that your next step is a step in the right direction, not just another step. While it happens to be my personal favorite, I highly recommend any tool or resource that will help you gain personal insight. Max realized what was most important to him at this stage of his life, identified the limiting beliefs that were getting in his way, learned to stop comparing himself to others and realized how important it was to infuse humor and joy into his everyday life. Grab a journal. Ask yourself these questions and allow the time and space to discover the answers.
Write everything down. Then, review what you wrote and highlight or circle what stands out or resonates the most. You know you want something else.
Motivational Quotes That Will Inspire Success In Your Life
This question allows you to explore what your potential options. If you hate your career, what new potential careers are on your mind? Brainstorm ALL your options without worrying about whether they are possible or not just yet. Make a list and keep asking yourself…. This allows you to dig deeper and see opportunities you might have otherwise not explored. What are all of your possible options at this point in time? Once you have your list of options, then you can move to the next step. Okay, so you have your list of options and possibilities.
Once Max had a complete list of potential career options including advancing in his current role , he narrowed the list down to the top most interesting and compelling opportunities. We then worked through each of those in greater depth. Max imagined himself living the life in his new career options. First, he imagined himself as an REI employee. Yes, he had grown a beard and was drinking from a metal mug. But the next question was even more important. I asked him how he felt. We went through all his options, envisioning what life would be like in each role until he found the one in which he felt the most connected.
We could both feel a shift in his energy immediately…he was on to something.
Go back to your options list and circle the that you feel most connected to, energized by or engaged with. Once you have a short list, imagine your life as if you took that as your next step. What would you think, feel, hear and see? Can you picture yourself there? Does it feel good? You can also do some research at this point to learn more about each of your options. This is a big one. This was holding him back. We worked together until he could move past this perception and on to his next step.
I know this part is hard. What if there is something else out there? These are all real and good questions, but not if they stop you from moving forward towards a more fulfilling life. Staying where you are out of fear of doing the wrong thing OR moving forward and seeing where it leads you? Give yourself a deadline, a timeline or a goal to make it happen so you can move from ideas to reality.
Make a decision about which option is best for you to move forward into the life you want. Then, take the first step towards that option. Then the next and the next one after that. You know you need to do something. Be brave. Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.
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The doubters will mock you as naive or foolish, but deep down you know it is possible to start living your dream life. You know there is more to life than working and paying bills. It seems as though most people are just trying to get by. They work because they need to make an income to support their life. People not only settle in the workplace, but also in their relationships with their friends and family.
You may even know people who settle by compromising their integrity and core values. Living your dream life is more than being rich, it is the belief that you are living a life aligned with your purpose. If you are ready to free yourself of the fears that cause you to live your life according to the expectations of others, then follow the below 7 steps found in the book — Champion of Change, the 7 Instrumental Laws of Change :. The foundation for you to create your dream life is for you to take the time and visualize what that life will look like.
This is more than the normal vision board you may have heard before.
This form of visualization requires you to use all your senses. Olympians are well-known for their visualization practices as they prepare for competition. The reason they do this is because everyone is very talented by the mere accomplishment of qualifying for the Olympics. To gain an edge, Olympians will visualize themselves competing in their actual event.
Emily Cook, of the United States free style ski team is quoted as saying she engaged all her senses in her visualization. She moves her body as if she is skiing down the slopes, she feels the air as it blows through her hair, and she hears the roar of the crowd as she crosses the finish line.
Olympians visualize in such detail because they understand they only have one opportunity every four years to compete. The best way they can be ready for the moment is by continually competing in their mind. Studies support this belief as they show you can literally gain muscle by visualizing yourself working out .